


What Would It Be Like?

by Fanfan_la



Series: Drabble Me This [8]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 12:52:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6375523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanfan_la/pseuds/Fanfan_la
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Ummmffff," Sehun groaned in his pillow.</p><p>His boyfriend pillow, to be exact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Would It Be Like?

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Sehun is insecure and a cry baby, and Tao is one cool cucumber :D
> 
> Warnings: None
> 
> Cross-posted from [AFF](http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/251853).

"Ummmffff," Sehun groaned in his pillow.  
  
His boyfriend pillow, to be exact.  
  
Oh Sehun was a blonde, lonely, shy and bratty boy of seventeen who had never had a boyfriend in his life. It sucked because when he saw all his other friends with boyfriends or girlfriends, he tried to find someone as well. But, whenever he did, he was overlooked for others, and it never failed to disheartened him.  
  
"Maybe I haven't got a handsome enough face," Sehun said into his pillow. Once again, he had been rejected by his current (small) crush, Kris Wu. What made it worse was that Kris was so polite about it, constantly apologising when Sehun knew it was only his fault for not being nearly as appealing as his own friends. "Maybe it's because I don't have nice arms. Or nice legs. Or nice dimples. Or nice anything." He sighed into his pillow, gazing at it in sadness. "You think I'm good-looking, don't you, Sebastian?" He asked, stroking the full body picture printed on the pillowcase of Sebastian Michaelis from Black Butler, one of his favourite animes.   
  
Sehun sighed again, burying his face into the pillow. "Ah, who am I kidding?" He said, feeling his eyes water a bit. "Nobody would date me because I'm not handsome enough. If not that, my personality is less than to be desired," he sniffled into his pillow, hugging it tightly. "No one would put up with me. _I_ wouldn't put up with me. If I wouldn't, who would?" He asked softly, feeling the tears drip down his face. "Certainly not-"  
  
A sudden knock alerted Sehun that he was not alone anymore, making him hastily wipe the tears off his face and put his poker face on. "No, Oh Sehun. You are _not_ going to think like that. Even if it's true. Regardless, you are not. Not when someone else is here. Just show your bratty self like you usually do," he said, clenching a fist. "Hwaiting!"  
  
Sehun walked over and opened the door, biting his lip in an effort not to groan of embarrassment when he saw who it was. "Taozi," Sehun said, surprise in his voice.  
  
Tao took one look at Sehun and dragged him backwards into the blonde's room, sitting the younger down on the bed. "Sehun, are you okay?" The raven-haired male asked, sitting himself down next to the blonde.  
  
Sehun cursed the other in his head. Of all the people to come over, it had to be the one who he liked the most since he was thirteen, but would never tell because the raven was his best friend. He didn't want to ruin their friendship, so telling was not an option. Besides, Tao was a dating god - who needed someone inexperienced like Oh Sehun?  
  
Likewise, at that very moment he looked like a mess, hair strewn in several directions due to mussing it all over his boyfriend pillow-  
  
Oh god.  
  
_The boyfriend pillow._  
  
That Tao didn't know about.  
  
Sehun threw himself across the bed as fast he could, covering the pillow with as much of his body as he could.  
  
Tao blinked at the crazy blonde. "Sehun, what are you doing?" He leaned closer, spotting a corner of the pillow under Sehun's skinny body. "Are you trying to hide something from me?"  
  
"What? No," Sehun said quickly and unconvincingly. He stared at the raven, who gave a strong look of doubt.  
  
Tao then launched for the blonde, pushing Sehun and rolling him further on to the bed, uncovering the pillow he had been hiding. "This? This is what you were hiding? A boyfriend pillow?" Tao laughed, picking up the pillow and hugging it to himself. "Sehun, seriously, it's not-" He cut himself off, seeing Sehun hide his face and hearing the little blubber come from the blonde. "Sehun-ah, why are you crying?" Tao said gently, crawling closer to his crying best friend.  
  
"You're laughing at me for having a boyfriend pillow," Sehun sniffled, not looking at his massive-crush-slash-best-friend.  
  
"I am not laughing at you for having a boyfriend pillow," Tao said, shaking his head and placing a hand on Sehun's shoulder. "You didn't let me finish before you got upset, but I was going to say, it's not like you need a boyfriend pillow. You're Oh Sehun. You don't need one because you're handsome enough to find a real one."  
  
Sehun turned around to look at Tao, his eyes red but free of tears. "More like No Sehun," the blonde mumbled, looking down into his lap. "I'm not handsome, Tao. Or beautiful, or even average."  
  
Tao leaned closer, putting his arms around the blonde's shoulders. "That's not true."  
  
"It is," Sehun insisted, his insecurities spilling out. "I mean, I asked Kris out and he said no! Kris likes everyone enough to try at least once if they're brave enough to ask! That fact that he didn't with me is explanation enough!" Sehun choked at the end, closing his mouth to stop the little cries escaping. It was bad enough he was crying; he didn't want to make Tao even more uncomfortable by looking like a sobbing mess.  
  
"Is that why you're crying? Because Kris rejected you?" Tao asked softly. He gently cupped Sehun's head and pulled it towards his chest, letting the other lean on him.  
  
"No," Sehun murmured, inhaling Tao's calming scent. He wanted to enjoy it while he could. "It's because I have come to realise that I'll be forever alone because no one likes me. If they do like me, there's always someone better," he said, his lips trembling. "That's why I have that boyfriend pillow. It's the only thing that likes me and that I can hug when I'm alone, and even then it's not real," Sehun said, his voice cracking. He sounded so pathetic to himself that it was embarrassing to hear. He didn't want to think about what Tao was really thinking about him right then.  
  
"Sehun..." Tao started.  
  
"Don't worry, Taozi," Sehun sniffed, swallowing the lump in his throat and lifting his head off Tao's chest. He wanted to at least compose himself so he didn't look too pathetic to his best friend who he secretly loved more than his own mother. "I'll get over it. I'll just adopted a few cats and live alone in a big apartment. Or maybe ferrets. Chanyeol said they're fun playmates," Sehun said, trying to smile but failing miserably.  
  
"Sehun, look..." Tao tried again.  
  
Sehun looked at the male, wondering what it would be like to press his lips against the elder's. Then he let out an inaudible sigh because he had already established that he was going to be forever alone. "Yeah?"  
  
"This is kind of my fault," Tao said sheepishly.  
  
Sehun blinked at the older male. "Tao, if you're trying to make me feel better, at least make up a convincing lie. How can me being less than average be your fault?"  
  
"That's not what I mean," Tao said, looking at little nervous. "I kind of... told Kris to reject you."  
  
Sehun blinked again. "W-why?" He asked, his voice suddenly so small.  
  
"Because I didn't want him to date you," Tao admitted.  
  
Sehun let out a deep breath. "So you told the _only_ person who would be willing to date me at least once, to reject me?"   
  
Tao nodded.  
  
Sehun felt the tears creep up into his eyes again. That hurt even more than Tao being out of his reach. "That's just cruel, Taozi," he said, trying his best not to let the tears fall.  
  
"Sehun-" Tao panicked, seeing the tears in his best friend's eyes. "Sehun, I didn't mean-"  
  
"You told someone who was willing to actually _go out with me,_ to rejected me instead? That's- that's just- why would you do that, Taozi? Are you trying to make me live alone forever? Is that what this is? A plan to make your best friend suffer alone?" Sehun stood up, his voice rising in volume as the hurt in his words began to show. "Because that's not fair! I don't want to be alone! I want someone to hold, or be held, or have fun dates and laugh with, and get married to, and maybe have a good _life!_ " He yelled, the tears dripping down his flushed face. "I don't want to watch you get married to someone when I have no one, when really all I want is _you!_ "  
  
Sehun's heart dropped as soon as the words left his lips, seeing Tao freeze in shock.  
  
Oh god. He had ruined everything.  
  
Letting out a bitter sob, Sehun turned away from the raven and walked towards the door of his room, ready to leave and binge-eat his misery away, when he felt a hand grab his wrist and pull him backwards, only to hit a hard body. Sehun thrashed as arms wrapped around him to stop him from struggling, until the blonde was too tired to care and just bawled into the enclosing arms, his heart heaving from the emotional pain.  
  
"Sehun..." Tao murmured into the blonde's hair, loud enough for the emotional blonde to hear. "You really need to let me finish. I told Kris- well actually, I threatened him into rejecting you because I didn't think I could handle the jealousy if I saw him dating you."  
  
"So what, you like Kris?" Sehun stuttered coldly, trying to rid the tears from his face. "Ask him out, then. You're close to him and you’ve already got him to reject me."  
  
"No, Sehun. I told him not to date you because I would get jealous of _him._ "  
  
Sehun blinked, not understanding where this was going.  
  
"Kris really wanted to date you. _Really_ wanted to." Tao said. "But you know, he has his little rule about only accepting those who asked him. So, when he heard that you were going to ask him, he was excited. Except, I threatened him with his old baby photos if he dared accept you. Thankfully they were embarrassing enough for him to agree, because everything else I had come up with before did nothing to change his mind." Tao paused, before continuing. "He's not the first one I stopped from asking you out, either. I did it to Yixing, Jongin, Amber, Hyuna, and the list goes on. Hell, I even stopped Luhan-ge, my own brother." Tao sighed and looked at Sehun, who had completely stopped crying and was now avoiding Tao's gaze. "All those times you got rejected weren’t because you're less than average. It was because I couldn't handle the jealousy that would come with you dating anyone."  
  
Sehun frowned, rubbing at his puffy eyes. "That's really not fair, Tao. You didn't see me stopping you from dating practically half the school population."  
  
"Why didn't you? If you like me?" Tao asked gently.  
  
Sehun had hoped that Tao wouldn't bring that up, but apparently that was not the case. "Because you looked happy. More so than when you were with me, which makes sense because I'm only your best friend."  
  
"What if I told you I want more than that, Sehun? What if I told you that I wanted that from the beginning but I didn't know how to ask you?" Tao said, tilting Sehun's chin up to look at him. "What if all those people I dated were to fill the void of not being with you and I was never really happy unless I was with you?"  
  
"Then I'd say you were lying to make me feel better because I just told you I liked you," Sehun said, pointedly not looking at Tao, despite the hold on his chin. "Don't do it, Tao. It will only make me feel worse."  
  
Sehun turned his head to break the hold on his chin, only for Tao to lean in and capture Sehun's shaky lips into a sweet kiss.   
  
Sehun wanted to pull away - because _why was Tao doing this?_ \- but the warm feeling of sincerity and love stopped him from doing so. Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned into it, enjoying the realisation that maybe, just maybe, Tao was telling the truth.  
  
As soon as he ran out of breath, Tao gently pulled away to look at Sehun, the blonde's eyes still closed. "Sehun-ah, open your eyes," Tao said, his voice amused.  
  
"Don't want to," Sehun replied stubbornly, but opened them anyway, his eyes locking with Tao's own.  
  
"Do you believe me now?" Tao asked, gaze unwavering.  
  
"Y-yeah," Sehun uttered, surprising himself. "Yeah, I do."  
  
"Good, because it is true," Tao said. "I like you; a lot more than a best friend should, and I'm sorry for carelessly making you feel like you're not good enough to date, because you are. You're amazing and I should have just told you that I liked you instead of making you feel lonely." Tao hugged Sehun tightly, whispering next to the blonde's ear. "I'm sorry."  
  
Sehun clung back just as tightly, his heart feeling lighter and unburdened because _Tao liked him as more than a friend._ "It's okay, Tao. I forgive you." He pulled back a bit, a smile touching his lips. "And besides, I should have gathered up the courage to tell you too. Although, you did make me feel like shit, however unintentional it was."  
  
"I know," Tao said firmly. "I promise to make it up to you."  
  
"I know you will. And the first thing you can do is take me on a date for some bubble tea," Sehun said, eyes wide with excitement. "This will be my first date ever, so I want it to be good."  
  
"Of course," Tao said, agreeing with everything Sehun wanted; it was the least he could do. "But can I kiss you? Because that one kiss was not enough to satisfy my want for you right now."  
  
All it took was one nod from Sehun for Tao to push the blonde back onto his bed, a stifled laughter erupting from Sehun before his lips were encased by Tao's hungry ones.  
  
As Tao's hand wandered above Sehun's head on the bed, it landed on something soft as he hovered over the blonde's body, and so he pulled up from the kiss to speak. "What should we do with this?" Tao asked, his hand tight around the suddenly offending boyfriend pillow.  
  
"I'd say throw it away, but Sebastian is my favourite character and I might need it if we get into a fight," Sehun teased, his eyes sparkling in amusement.  
  
Tao scoffed, throwing the pillow onto the floor. "You're only allowed to cuddle me, fighting or not," the raven declared. "And only _I_ should be your favourite anything."  
  
"Well, better get working on becoming my favourite, then," Sehun said. "You can start by kissing the living daylights out of me."  
  
Tao grinned, eyes meeting Sehun’s own challenging ones. "With pleasure."


End file.
